Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Homeschool Q & A #1

Below are a few questions that people have asked in the last few weeks. I wanted to answer them here on the blog so others can use it as a resource.


Q: How were you able to get people over the stigma that only weirdos homeschool?
A: I wasn't able to get people over it. People think what they think. People have opinions of you no matter what you do, so do what you love and do what is right for YOU.

Remember that weird kid in your kinder class, oh and the one in 1st grade? Yes, and then there was 2,3,4,5,6, and a ton in 7,8,9th... my point is. There are weird kids in the world. Some of these weird kids go to public school, some private school, and some homeschool. Thats just the way it is.

I will say that homeschoolers are definitely "different" than their public schooled peers.

For instance:

My kids dress different. They don't know what name brands are. They wear what I buy them, and I usually buy them things that fit our family esthetic. I caved on the starwar shirts, but other than that we keep things pretty simple. No character shirts. No name brand clothes (unless needed for the need, not the want of having the brand name). They don't wear sock pulled up to their knees like their public schooled friends, or body armor and nike everything. They wear whats comfortable and looks nice. Keeping up with the Jones, or wearing what is deemed "cool" at the moment isn't our thing. If that is yours, thats fine. But my kids don't have the pressure of looking like everyone else. They have the freedom of being themselves.

My kids talk different. My kids don't know any swear words. They don't use potty language. They don't say "I hate you" or "you're a mean mom". I have heard my friends kids say these things. And I can't prevent my kids from hearing it, but if i'm there when they hear it, then we can have a discussion about it after the fact. These are usually things that they hear in a public setting (unless they are exposed to this limited vocabulary in the home, then thats on the parents). I remember when Locke went to school and he would come home and say stuff and i was like, Oh, we don't say that in our home. Sadly, the type of "socialization" he was getting in school was usually negative and things that I had to correct when he came home. Oh, we also use different words. Once Locke was playing with his cousin, they were filming a video about cowboys. Locke said something about a "vast prairie" and his cousin couldn't get over it. "I can't believe he said vast, I mean who says vast?". And I was like we do! Besides, I can't think of a better word to describe a prairie. Great choice of words Locke! High five!

My kids are inclusive not exclusive. Oh look, there is a kid at the park, they are playing on the slide, they are nice, i'll be there friend. They never stopped to check the age, grade, sex of the child. They don't care. They will play with anyone. Now THAT right there is some freaking awesome socialization if you were concerned about that topic (also touching on that in another post). They don't have a stigma associated with who they can talk to or play with. Adult, senior, baby, they don't care. They'll talk to them or play with them. Often times my daughter gets left out when we play with our public schooled friends, because she is a girl. When we are with our homeschooled friends, they all just play together, babies, boys, girls, no one cares.

My kids have different interests. While their friends are walking around with their phone looking at instagram or playing games, my kids are (probably wishing they had a phone too lol) thinking outside the box for something fun to do. Yes, we have video games and a tv, but we rarely use them. My friends often tell me that my kids are very creative in thinking of things to play.



Q: How do you find co-op's that you mesh with?
A: Try checking out FaceBook. When we started homeschooling in Texas, I only new one person that homeschooled, then we ended up moving to Utah 3 week later. I only had a few friends here (old friends from back in the day) and non of them homeschooled and I didn't know what I was doing. My first stop was FB. I found some great groups of local moms that were doing what I was doing. That I could relate to. My family and (what friends I had left from my previous life in Utah) couldn't relate to this new part of my life. I needed to find a support system and I need it fast!

I am a part of two FB groups, one is a religious homeschool group and one is a county homeschool group. Its nice to have access to parents that are local as well as faith based.

Once you are in some groups, you can easily find some co-ops or you can make your own. We have been apart of several over the years and made some dear friends through these groups. We have also visited a few groups that neither my kids or I meshed well with, so we just didn't continue along with them.

Co-ops are important for the kids as much as they are for the moms (we need homies too).



Q: How did you talk your husband into homeschooling? My husband is so against it because he is worried about what his parents, and other educational background family will think. That and not believing that i can teach things like physics to teenagers.
A: Oh man, I still remember it. I kept getting this "feeling" that maybe homeschool might be a good fit for our then 1st grader. I causally mentioned it to my hubs and he was like HECK NO! I don't want weird kids! I was like RIGHT! Neither do I! And it was settled right then and there. No way were we doing it.

But... I kept getting the feeling, or prompting that this was a "good" thing. I prayed about it. Talked to my husband again. Got shut down again. So I told him he needed to pray about it. He did. We decided to make a list of the pros and cons of home and public school. Homeschool won by a landslide.

Since that day he has been my biggest cheerleader and supports our journey 100%. If I ever feel like giving up (because there have been those days) he's there to remind me why we chose this road.

Sometimes what we want and what God wants are different. And then you have 2 choices. You can choose you or God. I promise you, his plan is FAR better than what you think your own should be.

Invite your husband to pray about it. If its Gods plan for you, it will work out. It won't be easy, because life isn't easy, but I promise that it will be RIGHT. And it will be the BEST choice.

I'm always asking myself, is this good, better, or best? Somedays I would love to send my kids to school so i could watch TV or get stuff done, or just be alone for a few hours, but is that the best thing for our family? No, it would be good, but not best.

Now, if God told you to send your kids to public school then that would be best. But God never told me that, and honestly, I never asked. I just did it because everyone else does it. It wan't until I asked that I got my answer.

In answer to the second part of your question, if your husband is against it because of what other people think. Honey, life is SO short. People are going to think what they think. You can fear men or your can fear God. But you can't fear both. Make a choice. Also, do it and prove them wrong! Prove that your kids will have the opportunity to be their BEST self by keeping them home (if thats what you feel is best).

I have had my kinder teacher and my 5th grade teacher (both close family friends) give me their opinions on my choices. I kindly thanked them and went on with my life. I was SO scared to what other people thought at first. But I got over it SO fast when I started to see the fruits of my labor. My kids are different and my friends and family can see it. There is no denying the differences (some shared above in the fist Q).  But they are entitled to their opinion, the opinion that they will have no matter what I do with my life. So I let them have it.

And the third part of your question. This part weighed heavy on my heart for years. Our school theme for last year was "By small and simple things". Reading that everyday made a HUGE difference. I focused on taking it one day at a time. No one picks up a book and reads, no one sits at a piano and played Mozart. They learn the letters/notes, they then words, then one day they can read a simple sentence and on and on until they can devour a book without even thinking about it.

Thinking about teaching physics now is like thinking about playing Mozart at your first piano lesson. DONT DO IT. It doesn't matter. Take it day by day. Learn more and more, and if that day comes (I seriously thought it was here today for my 11 year olds math lessons), then deal with it at that time. When I can no longer teach math, and google fails me (not sure if that will ever happen) then and ONLY then, will I worry about it. There are math tutors, co-ops, early college classes, on line tutors, family math wiz, a neighbor that can help, a friend that will trade tutoring for babysitting. A path will open up. I can promise you that.

Once a friend told me that I had to know a subject before I could teach it (she was referring to English, she was an English teacher). I agree, if you are a paid teacher, you better know your stuff. She said I couldn't teach my kids if I didn't know everything. But I'm human, and my kids know that I don't know everything, because NO ONE knows everything of course. Look, I suck at spelling. There I said it. Spellcheck is basically my favorite thing IN THE WORLD! Daily, and several times a day my kids ask how to spell something and I have to double check on my phone. There is NOTHING wrong with that. I have talents, and I there are things that I ROCK at! But spelling isn't one of them. Never has been, most likely never will be. I could beat myself up about it, or practice a spelling program, or I can focus my energy into my talents and improve my strengths rather than frustrate myself with my weaknesses.

Most of our day is spent learning TOGETHER. I personally have never stopped learning. I didn't graduate and think "yes! now I know everything and I never have to learn again!".  I don't sit in front of my kids and pour my knowledge into them (learning doesn't work that way, at least it's not effective that way). "Instruction does much but encouragement does everything" -Goethe. Learning is about passion and interest. Not the all knowing teacher talking and hoping the children actually absorb it.



Q: How do you work in all the projects (art, science, etc)? without excessive strain and planning on your part?
A: We don't follow curriculum with anything except math. I do have a history curriculum but I don't follow it. I don't like to much structure, we have a rhythm that we follow (I'll touch on that below) and every day is different. Projects are usually inspired by something we read or learn about. They are rarely planned in advance. For example, we made these fun salt dough maps (posted about it here on the blog a few back). That came out of cousins being board and wanting to play school. We usually do a creative project about each of the books we read. And we do Science Saturday! My kids favorite day of the week. Dad is in charge. They usually put together a science kit, robot, or work on a project.



Q: I am really interested in your daily/weekly schedule.
A: We have a loose schedule. We don't go by the clock with school work, but follow a rhythm. Breakfast, Dressed, To-Do's, Morning time (sing, pray, memory) Then straight into the 3 r's. And then it's usually time for lunch. After lunch every day is different. We cover all of the subjects through the week (one per day) for formal lessons (if you can call it formal), then they kids have free time so they can study subjects that they are interested in, pursue their passions, and focus on their talents. Then in the evenings we do reading and scriptures. I think I'll do a separate post about this. It's a lot of info.



Q:Is there a community of other stay at homeschoolers that you're ale to meet up with to give your kids a social outlet?
A: Yes, we get together with other homeschoolers all the time. We don't have a co-op set up this year yet, but we have had one every year. My kids get lots of time to socialize. I think a common misconception is that homeschoolers are at home because they are not at school. We are out in our community more than we are at home. We go on weekly field trips, co-op, sewing co-op, poetry in the park, science co-op, park days, book club. (we don't do all of these all the time obvi, but these are things we have done regularly since we started homeschooling.

In addition, we have neighbor friends over to play all week, cousins over every Sunday, scouts, tumbling, ukulele lessons, piano lessons, activity days, and church (Sunday school, and primary class). SO much time to socialize!



Q: How are your children still alive? Mine would not survive if they were homeschooled.
A: My friend that sends her kids to public school wrote this as a joke, but I still wanted to include it because she has told me that she could never homeschool because she would kill her kids. Again, a joke, but if my kids were sitting around my house all day fighting and complaining about being bored, I would want to kill them too! That is one of the reasons we school year round. I love routine, so do my kids. When our life is filled with work and school, they are NEVER bored! They love having some down time and fill it with what ever they want. They get along better too!



Q: Do you ever have alone time?
A: Yes of course! I'm with my kids a lot, but not every second of the day. But honestly, I don't crave alone time often. I have plenty of time alone during the evenings and when the kids are reading or during the afternoon when they are outside playing. I can go shopping alone but prefer to bring at least one child so we can have some one on one time as well as let them find food, figure prices and stuff. When you start to homeschool, every moment is a teaching moment.

I go to my friends house to watch our favorite show once a week, we have been getting together for years. I go out with friends, just like any normal mom. My husband and I get the occasional date night.

My mother in law also takes my kids one day a week for a few hours which is nice, but really, I never get anything done during this time because I have the toddler still and she is more work without the kids to help play with her.

I really don't WANT to be alone, unless I have a good book to read, then I send the kids outside or put them to bed early so I can enjoy it in peace.

I hope this helped those that asked the questions and also those read along. Please let me know if you have other questions, i'm always happy to help. I don't know everything about homeschooling, but i'm happy to share what works for us.

xo

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